Can you imagine spending 65 years of your life feeling a bit odd, a bit different to everyone else, only to then find out it was for a good reason? This was the case for Ann Telford, who was recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Suddenly it all made sense. The consistent report cards coming home from school “if only Ann would apply herself.” The impulsivity. The risk taking (yeah, I know about ya dodgy adolescent Anntics!) The desperation to flee immediately after enduring a meeting for more than 30 minutes. It was only after Ann returned to the office in the post-Covid world that she realised just how much she struggled with ‘life as usual’. Bear with me, we’re about to get a bit nerdy with the psychology explanation, but it’s fascinating what Ann experienced (albeit terrifying).
For years and years, Ann went through an ongoing process of desensitisation. As Ann’s very successful career evolved and her family grew, so too did the social demands imposed upon her. Her naturally limited tolerances for peopling and sensory stimulation each day became overridden through increased frequencies of exposures to these aversive encounters. (This is in a similar fashion to developing a tolerance for spicy food if you keep persisting through the initial pain.) But all the demands on her tolerances ceased with the lockdowns. Throughout her entire career, Ann exercised her metaphoric tolerance muscles, toning them and building them before she all but stopped using them for 12 months. The muscles wasted away; Ann’s social and stimulatory tolerances reverted to their natural state. Then the world opened back up again, demanding life as usual.
Perspective, please. Getting back into the world with supercharged sensitivity to socialising and sensory experiences cannot be likened to riding a bike. It was more like being thrown from a cliff off the island where you’ve taken shelter away from the dangers beyond the horizon. Just as you hit the water, it dawns on you – you’ve forgotten how to swim! Did Ann instantly relearn how to swim? No. She sunk far and fast. It was only when she hit the bottom that she found her wings (again). With an almighty push against the rocks, and a little empowerment boost from her tribe, she soared out of the water and into the sky. By adapting to a new mode of living, Ann created the space she needed to safely relearn how to swim, to rebuild her social and sensory tolerances. Resilience plus adaptability equals evolution. Ann is the ultimate phoenix.
